New York, New York

So I have a confession to make. Well, a few, actually.

I'm moving back to New York.

With Eliseu.

We're engaged.

Well, pending approval from the consulate.

I'm leaving sooner than he is, since I have a family commitment, and Eli still has one more round of application stuff to do, including an interview. His visa application was approved in the first round, and we're confident that everything will work out, hopefully in less than two months. Once he gets to the States, we have 90 days to get married, but we won't be having a formal celebration for at least a year or two.

We're leaving because we can no longer afford to live here, in more ways than one. He hasn't found a job worth keeping, and I have put off my so-called career by living here. Like some gringos experience living in Brazil, it's easy to just stay and stay and not really do anything other than getting by, because it gets very comfortable. But we need to get our lives on track, and it's not happening here, unfortunately. I realize this is the worst possible time to look for jobs in the US, but it's a risk we have to take.

Eli has never been to the United States, let alone New York, but he's more than ready to leave Rio. He'd rather go to Europe, but he's excited to see what life will be like in the States. He's already looking at jobs, and hopes to eventually find something related to the environment or wildlife preservation. He's been singing "New York, New York" since we started working on the visa process.

[Ironically, when I was looking for a "New York, New York" video, I couldn't find one I liked until I found this one. When I looked at the picture and caption from the person who posted it, I thought, "This guy is definitely Brazilian. And guess what? He is!]

On the other hand, I'm really torn about leaving. I love it here, and there's so much more I want to do and see, but I can't afford to. I had this dream about going on a trip along the coast all the way to Maranhao, or a trip through the interior to Rio Grande do Sul. But I can't. I'm stuck. And as much as I love it, I've done pretty much all there is to do in Rio. In that sense, I'm ready to leave the city, but not so much the country. But it's time to go.

I'm really excited to go home, though. I'm intimidated by the job market, but I'm feeling optimistic and I'm confident I'll find something soon enough, even if it takes some searching. I really want to invest in a job that I'm proud of, one that makes me feel useful. I want to apply to grad school. I want to live in the city and be close to my friends and family. I'm ready to really become an adult, even if it sucks.

But fear not, dear readers--the blog isn't coming to an end. I'm working on writing around a month's worth of posts before I leave, and after that I'll continue the same types of analytical posts about culture and society, and since I'll be in terrible culture shock, the Brazil-US comparisons will continue for some time. Eli's experiences in the US are up for grabs (he's already prepared for me to write about them), as well as the clash of cultures when he finally meets the rest of my friends and family. Also, I'm hoping to meet up with Brazilians in New York and do some interviews, so let me know if you're interested!

By the way, you'll know I'm in the US when the banner and title changes to "Adventures of a Gringa." The url won't change--I'll always be the Rio Gringa. In fact, that's another one of my goals. I want to go back to school to study Latin America and become an official, certified expert on Brazil (as well as the Caribbean). I want to become one of the renowned sources of knowledge about Brazil. I want to become a neo-Brazilianist! I'd also like to write a book, using the blog as an outline. A proposal is in the works, but it's coming along a little slowly since I have so much to do. I'm keeping my expectations low, though, and focusing on looking for 9-5 jobs. 

One thing that makes me feel less sad about leaving Brazil is that I'm bringing a little piece of Brazil with me, since I can't see myself living without Eli, and we've been formulating a long-term plan for some time now. It brings to mind a scene from my last day at work in DC before I moved to Brazil. I was standing around with my boss and other co-workers. One woman came over and asked what we were talking about. "Watch out," she told me. "I lived in Italy for a year, and I came home with a very big souvenir." "What?!" another co-worker gasped. The lady shot her a confused look. "My husband," she explained. "Oh," the other said, relieved. "I thought you meant an STD."

Finally, as Roberto DaMatta told me, "Mas você sempre pode voltar!"

Comments

[Patricia]

Congratulations!!!
Being in another place, "postponing" your life might be the easiest thing to do, but it won't be the happiest in the long run.. From the blog we (the readers) can tell you had an amazing time, and Rio will always be there for you.. especially, since your fiancé is coming back with you! :)
so, I hope everything works out (bureaucracy wise) and that the transition to be as smooth as possible! I know the situation is not the best right now, but the job market will always have a spot for good people. And you're one of them. I do hope you keep up the blog!

Cheers!

[Eliana]

I always read your blog, and I am very surprise with this news!
But I hope that everything works out for you, you are very talented girl and you are being very wise with your decision!
I wish you all my best for Eli too, it will be a big adventure for him. It is a pitty I am in California, I would love to meet you and do an interview!
Please do not stop writting!
All my best for you!!

[Usha]

Congratulations for your wedding. I am happy for you. But I am also sad for us who vicariously lived in Rio through you. I am a carioca, but I cannot stand/afford living in Rio, even though I love the city. Your blog is a way to "matar as saudades."

Latin American studies sounds perfect for you. And if you decide to come to UF/Gainesville, there are so many Brazilians here, you will fell "at home."

I have done some of your dream trips. You should work on it, it is worth it. You could also include Fernando de Noronha in your plans. There is a felling of knowing you are in the middle of the Atlantic (not really, but it feels like) that is kind of magic. Do you know Riq Freire's Blog? It could be a good link to add here. His travel tips are down to earth and real.

Boa sorte nessa nova fase de vida. Eu desejo aos dois muita paz, saude, alegria, sucesso, e amor!

[Ray Adkins]

Rachel,

Don't fear looking for a job in the US, there are plenty of jobs out there, people are still hiring, a lot.
The economy should turn around for the best before the end of the year.
I am glad you will be close to your friends and family, that is really important if not the most important factor to people deciding to move back home.
I got to know Rio a and Brazil a lot better with your blog and I am really thankfull to you for sharing your great experiences and points of view on daily Brazilian life.
I will definitely keep following up your adventures back home, your cultural shock and Eli's impressions of the US.
Let me suggest you get Eli to try a fluffernutter sandwich to start introducing him into classic American culture :).

Ray

[Erado VIlar]

Rachel:
Parabéns e vida longa ao lado do Eli.
Uma susgestão: feche o ciclo.
A vida é feita de ciclos.
Este está fechando.
Quando for, feche o blog. Não olhe para trás, nunca fez bem a ninguém.
Se precisar abra outro blog: "Uma gringa em New York" .. e nos fale das
coisas boas de sua cidade.

Eraldo Vilar

[Cristina]

I have just started reading your blog the past month or so and I love it. Much success on your future move. After living in S. America for a few years and bringing back a "big souvenir" as well, I can tell you it will be hard at times but soooo worth it :) Congrats!!

PS Reading about the K-1 visa brings back so many memories (of paperwork!)

[Sergio]

So, is it time for Eli to keep on the blog now "Adventures of a gringo in New York"? Rachel, we'll feel much "saudades" from you. We'll be orphans? :(
Al the best for you and Eli. Cheers!!!

[Robyn]

Hey that's great! Congratulations!

God, it's funny you know, I've been thinking a lot about moving bacl too. I've been weighted down lately like a two ton freight with thoughts of not wanting to postpone my life anymore, of wanting a career I can invest in and feel proud of. I'm so tired of being over-educated and over experienced and totally unqualified to do anything but teach English conversation. Blech. I'm starting to feel like a beach bum with out the beach.

Congratulations on your engagement! I hope all goes smoothly with the visa. I bet Eli will love New York - at least in the summer!

bjos!

[Sonia]

Congrats, Rachel! All the best to both of you.

[Stephen]

Good luck! Exciting times ahead. (NY is nothing if not exciting).

[Dennis]

Congratulations! When you're back in NY and missing Brazilian food, go check out Brasilianville Cafe and Grill in Astoria. It's a por quilo with a churrascaria window, and food is incredibly delicious (and cheap!). Of all the Brazilian places I've been to in NY, it's the most transporting. Good luck here!

[Andréa]

I knew it was coming, but I must confess I´m surprised that it will happen so soon! Anyway, I´m very happy you and Eli are engaged and plan a life together. I did not have the pleasure to meet him, but he´s seems a very nice person - he´s Brazilian after all! : )
I will surely continue to read your blog, even if the subject changes a little bit. You are an excellent writer and everything you decide to share is always interesting and keeps me reading till the end!
I´ll let you know when I´m in Canada, so we can try to meet half way - maybe in Niagara, what about that?!
Please keep posting whenever you can and let us know your impressions of going back home.
It was very nice getting to know you - both in person and through the blog - and I still keep that book you gave me (the one your mother wrote). My daughter hasn´t yet started to read the book you gave her, but she will eventually. She always mentions that day you went to our house to have the English class...
All the luck to both of you!
Take care,
Andréa

[Rafael Brito]

Oi,
Oi, sou de Niteroi e moro em NY desde 2001. Ja morei em NYC, Jersey City e agora estou em LI (Mineola).

Estou as ordens para dicas & qq ajuda.

Meu twitter e' http://www.twitter.com/rafaelbrito

[Marcelo]

Congratulations to you both. I wish you all the best and a lot of success at this new step of your lives.

I was really surprised by the news ! ; From what I read at your blog in the last months I never thought you had intentions of returning.
But I understand you very well, especially because I left Rio, and Brazil, more or less for the same reasons. However prepared your self to feel a lot of “Saudades ”, as Fernando Pessoa said: "Primeiro estranha-se, depois entranha-se"

P.S. I really hope that this post will not be the beginning of the end of the “ Gringa adventures”. I am sure that this second phase of the blog will be even more interesting, but I am not so sure that you will have time for it.

[Marcus]

Hi Rachel,
congrats on the engagement and good luck on the phase of you guys life!

Your blog is very fun to read, so I will keep viting here, regardless of your geographical location. :-)

Take care,

Marcus

[Alexandra]

I met a really nice Brazilianist once. Her name is Sandra Lauderdale Graham. I'm not sure where she teaches but she might have good suggestions of places in the US to study about Brazil. I wouldn't hesitate to contact her!

[RogerPenna]

we will miss your blog about Brazil. Maybe you should move to "Little Brazil" in NY :)

[Marissa]

Haaaaaaaa! I knew it!! Parabéns!

[Michele]

Parabéns pelo noivado, Rachel, e felicidades na nova vida que se inicia. Espero que continues a escrever, és tão talentosa!

Beijos

Michele

[Vanessa Lima]

I am very happy for you guys, although a little sad you are leaving Rio, but completely understand why you have made this decision. I love reading your blog everyday and feel the connection since my husband is from Rio. I am glad you will continue to write and I know all the other readers will be too! Much happiness is on the horizon for both of you!!!

Vanessa

[Hanna]

Congratulations! I've been reading your blog for such a short time and got really exited about your commentaries (especially 'cause I'll be volunteering in the Ballet de Santa Teresa in two months) and now you'll be getting back to Us! Kinda sucks, but I'm genuinely happy for you (both of you)and look forward to hearing from your reverse cultural shock and Eli's impressions on Us.

[Alexandre Macedo - Eng.de Dentro - RJ]

Rachel e Eli, desejo-lhes muito sucesso, muita felicidade nessa nova fase, nessa nova vida.
Rachel, gostaria ainda que soubesse que VOCÊ foi a responsável por minha inserção na imensa comunidade de leitores assíduos de blogs. Tinha algumas reservas quanto a relevância desse tipo de leitura, porém, com a experimentação passei da desconfiança para um hábito prazeroso, percorrendo este e vários outros blogs diáriamente, chegando inclusive a contribuir com informações e comentários. Lhe Sou grato por isso.
Espero que continue utilizando este espaço.
Grande Abraço.

[geison]

"Adventures of a gringo in New York."

That would be great. Awesome. Amazing.

[Kathleen McDermott]

Congradulations, this is fantastic news. Very happy for you and fiance'. I am sure that finding a position in the fields he wants will not be that hard as they are becoming to be very hot.

One concern though, what about the Sean Goldman case?? Who else are we going to have to hear from, to trust, and learn from?? You have been the eyes and ears in Rio since last fall and have helped tremendously. yes there are a lot of other supporters in Brazil, yet none of them have taken the bold and brave steps like you. Thank you.

[Mari Biddle]

Congrats!!

Continue escrevendo!! Publique seus escritos....pleeeeeeeeeease! Um grande beijo!