Me: So the last time I got my hair cut was in Brazil, and she used a razor blade instead of scissors.
Hairdresser: I see.
Me: Yup.
Hairdresser: Did you ask her to cut your hair in the shape of a V?
Me: What? [She shows me in the mirror]
Hairdresser: Your hair was cut in a V shape. Would you like me to keep it that way?
Me: No. Please no.
Me: Hello, I'd like to make an appointment with the doctor so I can get new contacts.
Nurse: Ok, sure.
Me: The only problem is I've been out of the country for a year and I'm leaving again, so I have no insurance.
Nurse: [sharp intake of breath] Ooo. Oh. Ok. Well. Hm.
Me: Well, how much would a regular visit be?
Nurse: I suppose the most basic visit would be $170.
Me: Ah. Ok. Well, I'll just ask him not to do anything complicated.
Nurse: Yes, make sure you explain the situation when you come in.
Me: Hello?
Bank Man: Hello, is this Rachel?
Me: Yes...
Bank Man: Hi, I'm calling from [your bank] and I just have a few questions for you.
Me: [slightly panicking] Um, go ahead.
Bank Man: Did you make an online purchase of air miles this week?
Me: Yes...
Bank Man: Did you also just spend $200 on a Metro North ticket?
Me: Yup, that too.
Bank Man: And you also purchased airfare online as well?
Me: Yes, I did. I, um, do a lot of traveling! [Forced laugh]
Bank Man: [ignoring me] Ok, then. We just wanted to make sure your card wasn't stolen.
I'm sure those weren't funny at the time, but they sure were funny to read. Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Julie | June 28, 2008 at 11:40 PM